Having Our Nipple Confusion

In our work we see so often a baby having nipple confusion.  It happens so much we have had conversations for hours boasting about our own way of tackling the evils of NC.  We nod our heads in agreement and nod it acknowledging a new method that worked for one of us.  When we walk into a hospital room or home as a mother is holding her newborn who's having difficulty latching and there are synthetic nipples all around her we put on our mighty LC suit and take on our plan of action, sometimes sweating to get a baby to understand their mommy's nipple is what they really need not the rubbery, tough plastic.  There are so many successes and, we must admit, there are some failures.  In the end, we look at all of them as successes because we always, always learn from that particular experience.

Vanessa and I for the past twenty months have worked our butts off and much of the time for FREE.  We have such a passion for our calling that not receiving money is a minor technicality for us.  We never turn down a phone call and never tell a mother, when she asks us to come to her home, no.  We ask for whatever she can give; $100, $40, $25 and one time I was even handed a $10 bill and walked out totally grateful for it thinking I could put a little over two gallons of gas in my car.  I was excited not only for adding gasoline to my car but for meeting a Mom who told me she was so determined to exclusively breastfeed even while going to school and working full-time as a young Mom.

Then, there's reality.

Vanessa and I live in a capitalist society that fuels itself with that green machine, money.  We need to update our website.  We need to go from house to house, meeting to meeting.  We need to pay our mobile phone bills.  We need to feed and clothe our families.  We need to feed and clothe ourselves.  We need to stop draining our savings.  We are not rich and definitely not wealthy.  So, we have without a doubt accepted the reality of living in a capitalist, money-driven society.  Now, for the dirty business.

We have given presentation after presentation to hospitals, clinics, corporations, venture capitalists, rich family and friends, organizations, politicians and foundations.  We have applied for grants and have been denied.  I know, twenty months is not a long time and there have been plenty of businesses that have struggled for years before they even made their first dollar.  We are grateful for the money we have earned.  Thank you!  We just don't know where to turn next to keep our business thriving and growing.  It pains me to put our struggle on blast like this because I know there are people who are basking in the glory of our struggle and have added to it.  Let's be real.  Times are changing, vastly, and we can't hold on to what a few women think about us which causes us to keep our mouths closed.  There are new methods of achieving success.  We open ourselves to those alternative avenues of opportunity.

Our lack of funds have caused us to suspend airing our weekly radio show, not respond to some business phone calls and requests, not keep promises, added family stresses and deny our children some necessities.  Through it all we never deny a Mother service.  Never.  We always return a phone call and make a late night home visit, making sure our husbands are taken care of and our children are safe.

We want to work on this craft all the time while being Mothers, wives, daughters, a sister, cousins and friends.  We need to work with Moms and babies and hospitals and clinics and corporations and politicians and investors.  There is a HUGE need.  The more we work the more we realize there are so many issues that must be addressed and solved immediately.  So, we go to bed at night with a list of what to do the next day and wake up the next morning with a goal of scratching off all the items on our To-Do list.  We do...sometimes.  Why sometimes?  Well, 1) we are human, 2) there are some things you can't accomplish in a day and 3) our money is running out, fast.

So, we have a case of nipple confusion.

We want our business to latch on to projects and other businesses but because of the intervention of the synthetic need of money to thrive in this society we can't latch on to our business goals and basics.  We had a wonderful phone conversation with a Sistah in lactation last week and she told us we couldn't quit.  She became our mighty LC, sweating while helping us to latch on to our business plans and acknowledge our current successes.  She told us we couldn't stop working in lactation and couldn't end our business.  Vanessa agreed and assured her we were never going to stop.  I cried.  I cried because, frankly, it hurts to see the presence of a few screwing up the health of so many women and children.  At this point, it is clear to us it is purposeful.  There is a system setting women and children up to fail, no doubt.  Vanessa and I work ALL THE TIME.  We do it all for not just Black women but ALL women.  So, when you see people receiving checks and they do the barely the bare minimum  for their personal gain and ego it hurts.  They know what's going on with our women and children. They know the "set up to fail" methods that are being used on Moms and they choose to keep doing nothing, not even the bare minimum much of the time..

What is next for The Monolatry Group and The Abiyamo Omo Society?  In the last three weeks, we have developed a serious plan of action and started on it.  We have brought on Women who are working for us for no pay.  They are dedicating themselves to this plan of action.  These Moms have been working on finding us funding, resources and meet with us often to talk about our next steps.  We need more though.  I know this is asking for a lot but Vanessa and I have given so much of ourselves we need to stand up for ourselves by asking for help...lots of help.

Who do you know who can invest in our company and non-profit?  Do you have time to help us?  What we are about to do will be on a national level.  Yes, it's a lot for two Black Women on the South Side of Chicago but it can be done with your help and the help of others.  Whatever you can offer, invest and share will be very much appreciated.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You can call us at 847-502-0053 and e-mail us at info@monolatrygroup.com.  Peace & Blessings!

April 2012 Breastfeeding Mother of Color of the Month: Maria Galvan-Briseno

The month of April is very dear to us because one of our founders has a birthday this month and the other founder's mother's birthday is in the month of April as well. So, it is pure coincidence the breastfeeding mother we are highlighting this month is celebrating another year of life this month as well, Maria Galvan-Briseno.  We pick her this month for all the work she is doing on the South Side of Chicago in the Latino Community.  She is a powerful force who is making so much positive, uplifting change we had to share her story with the world. We thank you, Maria, for all you do and the lactivist in you. Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you...

Name Maria Galvan-Briseno

Profession Certified Breastfeeding Counselor at Chicago Family Health Center

Children  Emmanuel 16, Pedro 9, and Daniel 7

How long did you breastfeed?  

With Emmanuel, I pumped my milk for a year.  With Pedro, I nursed at the breast for sixteen months and Daniel I breastfed him for thirty-two months.

How did you know to breastfeed?  

I didn't know about breastfeeding.  My mother made me do it. I was upset at her for making me but as time went on I learned how convenient it was.

Please explain to us your overall breastfeeding experience. 

I was eighteen when Emmanuel was born.  The hospital staff did not support me nor educated me on breastfeeding.  Emmanuel was jaundice and stayed in the hospital for two weeks.  I was clueless about jaundice.  I did not know what to do.  During our visits at the hospital the nurses did not mention breastfeeding to me.  I started pumping my milk for him.  He never latched on and  it made me cry knowing my baby did not want my breast.  Thankfully, my mother educated me and my husband about breastfeeding.  My middle son, Pedro, nursed for sixteen months, even during my pregnancy with my third.  Pedro was on strike for a while since my milk transitioned to colostrum.  My youngest son, Daniel, was the perfect nurser.

How are you inspired by your breastfeeding experience?

Breastfeeding has taught me to listen to my children and respect their individuality.  Each of my sons have their own unique personality, special in their own way.

Were there any obstacles you had to overcome during your breastfeeding experience? 
When Pedro was born my husband was on sick leave due to angina.  I was running around to Doctor visits and the hospital.  My stress level was decreasing my supply.  Luckily, I had support to help me continue to nurse.

How do you think being a Mother of Color effects your breastfeeding experience?
Sadly, growing up I did not see any breastfeeding mothers, just my mother.  Hispanic women come to America wanting to be the American woman so they think formula is being American.  It would have been nice to see Hispanic women breastfeed in my community.

What are some of the ways you inspire other mothers to breastfeed and get the word of encouragement out in the community?
I always ask pregnant women, "Are you breastfeeding?"  If I get, "No, I have not thought about it."  I give them a basic breastfeeding class right there.

Feel free to share anything else about your breastfeeding experience and maternal story of growth.

Breastfeeding gave me the knowledge to be good mother.  Reading books was helpful but I quickly learned that my sons had a story to teach me. I listen to them everyday and I'm still learning from them.

Maria Galvan-Briseno is the oldest of six children and the only girl.  She is a Certified Breastfeeding Peer Counselor at Federally Qualified Health Center and hospital on the South Side of Chicago.  She lives in Northwest Indiana with her loving husband and three boys who keep her very busy.  She is a lactivist who enjoys sharing her knowledge of breastfeeding to as many women as possible in the Latino and Black Communities.

February 2012 Breastfeeding Mother of Color of the Month: Elita Kalma

We are so excited to have one of our closest lactavist friends as our February Breastfeeding Mother of Color of the Month, Elita Kalma.  Elita is very influential in the breastfeeding/lactavist world, especially among us Black Mommies.  Her nationally known and followed blog, Blacktating inspires so many women across racial and cultural lines.  For many of us, she has given us a voice and a social media outlet to express our concerns, questions, thoughts and loves.  The Abiyamo Omo Society is so happy to announce Elita as our BMOCOTM for February because this is the month Black skin is highlighted and our culture is celebrated.  She is the perfect person to applaud this month.  So, without further ado we honor you, Elita, for your strength, voice and passion in the world of maternal-child health. We thank you.

Name: Elita Kalma

Profession: Librarian

Children & Ages: Miles, 4 & Aminah, 4 months

How long did/are you breastfeed(ing)? Miles was breastfed for 3 years and Aminah is still happily nursing.

How did you know to breastfeed? My mom breastfed me until I was about 18 months old so I always knew if I had children that I would breastfeed them.

Please explain to us your overall breastfeeding experience. Both of my kids were tongue-tied so breastfeeding was very tough in the beginning. With Miles, my pediatrician said his frenulum looked “a little tight” but that it was “no big deal.” I suffered through sore nipples, poor milk transfer and slow weight gain and no one ever told me the “slightly tight frenulum” might be to blame. Somehow we managed but Miles had to nurse every hour on the hour in order to get enough milk and keep my supply up. I tried to wean him as gently and slowly as possible but when I knew I wanted to try for another baby I just weaned him cold turkey on his 3^rd birthday (we were down to about once a week at that point anyway) and I got pregnant with Aminah a few weeks later. Her tongue tie was noticed and clipped right away and we’ve enjoyed a very easy breastfeeding relationship since, with plenty of milk and steady weight gain!

How are you inspired by your breastfeeding experience? I would not be a blogger or activist today if I had not breastfed. It is no exaggeration to say breastfeeding has been life changing for me. It has made me a more patient, better mother and a crusader to get every woman to be open to the idea of breastfeeding and to support her throughout her journey.

Are there any obstacles you have to overcome during your breastfeeding experience? Besides the two tongue ties, the toughest thing for me has been working. I’m one of those women who just doesn’t let down easily for a pump and I have found it incredibly difficult to maintain a supply while working out of the home full-time.

How do you think being a Mother of Color effects your breastfeeding experience? Definitely some health care workers I’ve encountered have been surprised that I was breastfeeding because I am a black woman. I’ve also gotten the benefit of being able to be a role model of sorts for other women of color who breastfeed. I get a lot of emails from women who have no support for breastfeeding in their real, day-to-day lives and are so grateful to know there is another mother out there who does things the way they do.

What are some of the ways you inspire other mothers to breastfeed and get the word of encouragement out in the community? Between my blog and Twitter feed (@Blacktating) I try to encourage and support women in our community to breastfeed. In addition I make myself available to friends and family members and their friends and family members. People have come to think of me as someone with breastfeeding knowledge and will contact me if they have questions, which is very cool!

Feel free to share anything else about your breastfeeding experience and maternal story of growth.

I wish every woman could experience breastfeeding as total bliss, bonding and love. Yes, it can be tough at the beginning, but everything you’ve been through in your pregnancy, labor and delivery to get that baby wasn't easy either. The idea that you can build and grow a perfect little person with your body and then feed and nurture her with your breasts is absolutely awesome and amazing.

Elita Kalma is the mom to Miles, a preschooler, and newborn baby girl Aminah. She is a librarian by day and a lactivist all of the time. She started her blog, Blacktating, in 2008 as a side project while on maternity leave and it is now her third baby. When she's not reading, writing and tweeting about breastfeeding, Elita enjoys celebrity gossip, cooking, wine and traveling.

State of the Union: A 2011 Recap

This is the first year of Rebecca and me being in business for ourselves.  It has been an eye opening experience.  We have gone through so many different changes in the last 12 months which have taught me a lot about myself, business, and the lactation world.  This is my reflection.

When I get home my kids cling to me.  Sometimes I haven't been gone long but if I'm not home when they get home from school, to them, I’ve been gone all day.  I miss my kids too!  I miss them so much that I'm changing my schedule so I can be at home more often.  I think it's important for mothers to build a bond with their children early so they can have great relationships with their kids as they get older.  That's why I love breastfeeding because Moms are doing many things at one time, building a great lifelong bond, nourishing baby, building the immune system, protecting themselves from illnesses and that's only naming a few.

I thought I could balance career and home with no problem.  Boy, was I wrong.  I didn't realize how much my family depended on me.  I thought that my husband, who is a musician and is at home writing, would just slide right in to my role.  I was wrong again.  Men are completely different than women and I am learning how to work with my husband so we can both further our careers.  He is very supportive in my endeavors and sometimes he's the one approaching pregnant women in stores about breastfeeding.  He sees how important my work is and he is on the frontline right there with me.  He has really helped me be a better wife, mother, and person.  I really need to give him more sex... LOL!  I'm working on it, but sometimes after a long day of work, children, housework, and more work I don't have the energy to lift a finger, let alone have sex.  I am learning how to let go of some things so I have energy to do other things that are just as important or even more important.

Sometimes, you gotta do what cha gotta do!

When Rebecca and I started The Monolatry Group, we were so excited and we were ready to let everyone know, we are here!  Anything dealing with breastfeeding we were there.  We were showing our face at meetings all over the city and suburbs.  We were making our presence known on social media sites.  Then, we wrote a grant and we kind of knew we were not going to get it.  What we were proposing was new, innovative strategies and we were new on the lactation scene.  In 2011, the breastfeeding world changed. The media was talking about breastfeeding all the time and there was more money accessible for non-profits to promote.  Rebecca and I were even more excited to work with other established non-profits to work as a community to help women breastfeed.  That's what we thought but we were naive in thinking that everyone in the breastfeeding community is helping Moms to breastfeed, as well as to empower women.

This was the eye opening part of my year.  As I reflect on this subject, I realize how much I was hurt by women that I thought were advocates for women and breastfeeding.  I thought they were my friends and women I can trust.  I thought that they would be bluntly honest with me and tell me the truth.  But instead, I got shut doors, phone calls unanswered, and just a firm hand in my face saying, “No, you can't come in here.  You are too loud, you ask too many questions, and you are way too dynamic to be on our team.”  Well, I was upset for a little while but now I have my wits about me and I have put this in the past.  2012 is our year!  I'm claiming it.

With all of the adversity I have been though personally and professionally this year, I am glad that I have a great business partner, Rebecca.  She is honest, sometimes brutally, she has my back (like I have hers) and she is a great friend.  I have to thank the universe for placing her in my life.  We have learned a lot this year and we know now who are friends are and who we need to keep our eye on.  We've grown in the last year and in our growth we have been successful.

We have our mommy group, The Abiyamo Omo Society, which meets at 2 locations in Chicago hospitals, UIC Hospital and Jackson Park Hospital.  We are helping to start the volunteer Breastfeeding Peer Counselor program at UIC Hospital.  We are instructing our first PC Class in February 2012 and because of the great response we got we are planning 2 more classes in 2012 (check our website for details).  We started renting and selling Hygeia breast pumps that we call Pump Depot and delivery for free to Chicago's Southside and South Suburbs.  January 4, 2012 we’re starting our weekly talk show called “Milking It!” (on www.VOKLE.com) and you can catch us on Facebook ("Like" The Monolatry Group & TheAbiyamo Omo Society pages) as well as Twitter @abiyamoomo.

We have given a number of presentations at area hospitals and working on new connections everyday. With all that, we are working on 2 grants to help us sustain all the unpaid work we do.  We understand what it takes to be a successful and willing to stay up late and work when we have been up for hours.  We've had a great year and are very thankful to everyone who has accepted us (and not).  Last but not least, we wanted you to know we are here to stay!

Meditate On This!

Just curious, how would you, being a Lactavist, Lactation Consultant or breastfeeding advocate, approach this woman if she was talking to you?


"[Th]is sooo random today. Soooo, while doing pre-registration for Labor & Delivery, I changed my mind (again) about breast-feeding. I'm not gonna do it. The nurse looked at me like she was mad. I almost let the B-word fly...um, are you gonna have a baby hanging off YOUR booby, ma'am? Um, no. Gee to the whiz....that's cool...i also have 3 very active boys and all the stuff they do...they were all formula fed and havent really had major health issues. I agree it's probably better...there are just a lot of dynamics involved that made me choose what i feel is the right thing for my baby. Kudos to those that can & do breastfeed tho :)"

This is an actual quote, by the way, I got from the internet.  It is definitely something to meditate about and think about how you would respond.  Hmmm...

EDUCATION, EMPOWERMENT & ENLIGHTENMENT!