State of the Union: A 2011 Recap

This is the first year of Rebecca and me being in business for ourselves.  It has been an eye opening experience.  We have gone through so many different changes in the last 12 months which have taught me a lot about myself, business, and the lactation world.  This is my reflection.

When I get home my kids cling to me.  Sometimes I haven't been gone long but if I'm not home when they get home from school, to them, I’ve been gone all day.  I miss my kids too!  I miss them so much that I'm changing my schedule so I can be at home more often.  I think it's important for mothers to build a bond with their children early so they can have great relationships with their kids as they get older.  That's why I love breastfeeding because Moms are doing many things at one time, building a great lifelong bond, nourishing baby, building the immune system, protecting themselves from illnesses and that's only naming a few.

I thought I could balance career and home with no problem.  Boy, was I wrong.  I didn't realize how much my family depended on me.  I thought that my husband, who is a musician and is at home writing, would just slide right in to my role.  I was wrong again.  Men are completely different than women and I am learning how to work with my husband so we can both further our careers.  He is very supportive in my endeavors and sometimes he's the one approaching pregnant women in stores about breastfeeding.  He sees how important my work is and he is on the frontline right there with me.  He has really helped me be a better wife, mother, and person.  I really need to give him more sex... LOL!  I'm working on it, but sometimes after a long day of work, children, housework, and more work I don't have the energy to lift a finger, let alone have sex.  I am learning how to let go of some things so I have energy to do other things that are just as important or even more important.

Sometimes, you gotta do what cha gotta do!

When Rebecca and I started The Monolatry Group, we were so excited and we were ready to let everyone know, we are here!  Anything dealing with breastfeeding we were there.  We were showing our face at meetings all over the city and suburbs.  We were making our presence known on social media sites.  Then, we wrote a grant and we kind of knew we were not going to get it.  What we were proposing was new, innovative strategies and we were new on the lactation scene.  In 2011, the breastfeeding world changed. The media was talking about breastfeeding all the time and there was more money accessible for non-profits to promote.  Rebecca and I were even more excited to work with other established non-profits to work as a community to help women breastfeed.  That's what we thought but we were naive in thinking that everyone in the breastfeeding community is helping Moms to breastfeed, as well as to empower women.

This was the eye opening part of my year.  As I reflect on this subject, I realize how much I was hurt by women that I thought were advocates for women and breastfeeding.  I thought they were my friends and women I can trust.  I thought that they would be bluntly honest with me and tell me the truth.  But instead, I got shut doors, phone calls unanswered, and just a firm hand in my face saying, “No, you can't come in here.  You are too loud, you ask too many questions, and you are way too dynamic to be on our team.”  Well, I was upset for a little while but now I have my wits about me and I have put this in the past.  2012 is our year!  I'm claiming it.

With all of the adversity I have been though personally and professionally this year, I am glad that I have a great business partner, Rebecca.  She is honest, sometimes brutally, she has my back (like I have hers) and she is a great friend.  I have to thank the universe for placing her in my life.  We have learned a lot this year and we know now who are friends are and who we need to keep our eye on.  We've grown in the last year and in our growth we have been successful.

We have our mommy group, The Abiyamo Omo Society, which meets at 2 locations in Chicago hospitals, UIC Hospital and Jackson Park Hospital.  We are helping to start the volunteer Breastfeeding Peer Counselor program at UIC Hospital.  We are instructing our first PC Class in February 2012 and because of the great response we got we are planning 2 more classes in 2012 (check our website for details).  We started renting and selling Hygeia breast pumps that we call Pump Depot and delivery for free to Chicago's Southside and South Suburbs.  January 4, 2012 we’re starting our weekly talk show called “Milking It!” (on www.VOKLE.com) and you can catch us on Facebook ("Like" The Monolatry Group & TheAbiyamo Omo Society pages) as well as Twitter @abiyamoomo.

We have given a number of presentations at area hospitals and working on new connections everyday. With all that, we are working on 2 grants to help us sustain all the unpaid work we do.  We understand what it takes to be a successful and willing to stay up late and work when we have been up for hours.  We've had a great year and are very thankful to everyone who has accepted us (and not).  Last but not least, we wanted you to know we are here to stay!

ThanksTaking & Still Giving

Monday, Vanessa and I experienced a lot in one day.  Now, I would like to say we have been extremely blessed with the support and love we have been given from Hospitals such as UIC Medical Center and Jackson Park Hospital as well as some prominent figures in the lactation professional community.  Our company is expanding (we brought on 2 new people to our team) and we have been getting applications for our Peer Counselor class.

This past Monday we found out we were not awarded the grant we just knew we had in our pockets.  The explanation?  One the reasons is we aren't professional.  REALLY??!!

I know for a fact there are women out there who have said I am abrasive and harsh.  They say I need more training because of my approach.  My question to them is, have they seen me work with women?  NO!  They have never seen me work as a Lactation Specialist and have never seen me perform my Peer Counselor work. Another woman said, "I didn't know just anyone could teach a Peer Counselor Class."  REALLY??!! Just plain and simple hating.  Wow, I thought this was a bonding community.  I thought this was a community of women working together to empower women not bring them down.

We know who the external reviewers are for the grant proposal and we are ready to show them we are professional.  So, please take this as a tap on the shoulder, external reviewers.  We have our sleeves rolled up and ready to get to work without any apologies.  If you want to make this a challenge, go right ahead.  We are mobilizing as I type and entering the Lactation/Doula world by storm.  It's time to train you because, clearly, you are the ones who need the training.  You make assumptions not only about our work but about Mothers of Color in general.  You throw up numbers you cannot explain.  You speak about Black women as if they have a list of problems and you can solve them.  You cannot solve the problems of Mothers of Color. So, you see, who really needs more training??!!

Now, let's talk about real trained women doing real grassroots work.  Let's bow to these Sisters.

Vanessa and I would like to thank over and over again, The Chicago Area Breastfeeding Coalition for their unconditional support and guidance.  They are a group of women who not only empower but create the utopia of the lactation community.  We bow to you.  They are providing 2 scholarships to 2 women for our Breastfeeding Peer Counselor Class.  We would also like to thank Patrice Perez for being our dedicated advocate.  She is amazing beyond amazing.  Patrice, you are truly a Superwoman.  Patrice has been our voice when we have no representation.  Vanessa and I thank Charlotte Johnson who is a great guide for us. We wish you well in your retirement.  We also thank Michelle Shelton, Monica Palmer and Dhyia Thompson.  All of these women have added to our business in ways no one could imagine.  They are extremely talented women with dedication and cheer us on every step of the way.  We thank Hygeia for seeing something in us to trust us to promote and sell their products which in turn supports our company.  We thank Megan Renner for listening to us and believing in our mission.  A thank you goes out to Peg Dublin for her trailblazing work.  We honor her drive, her passion and her advice.  Thank you to Maria Galvan-Briseno and Katrina Pavlik.  These two women are extraordinary, working for the lactation cause even without pay.  Vanessa and I must thank Elita Kalma for her voice.  Her voice speaks for many Mothers of Color.  She educates, empowers and advocates for the women who are continually ignore all along putting a beautiful Black face to Breastfeeding and strong Black children to her breasts.  Thank you to all the encouraging, loving and positive women out there hugging and applauding our work and the work many other inspiring women.  Most importantly, we thank our husbands, children, parents and Samantha (Vanessa's loving sister).  We realize if it weren't for you we would not be were we are today enjoying our work and allow us to fuel our passion.

So, please take time this Thanksgiving to give genuine thanks to every one who has gotten you to this point in your life.  Even if they are not here physically to thank, thank them in some way through a prayer, moment of silence or a letter.  Focus only on people who uplift you and embrace you.  This is a new era, an era of higher consciousness.  Our intentions must be loving, inspiring and authentic.  Things are happening quickly so we have to move with our rapidly changing world.  If you are ready to join our Movement of Empowerment then we open our doors to you and love to work with you.  If you are not ready for the Movement then you will be left behind. It's that simple.

EMPOWERMENT, ENLIGHTENMENT! Peace & Joy! Happy Thanksgiving.

Breastfeeding Not Breast Cancer

The other day a distant cousin of mine sent me an e-mail on Facebook talking about a fundraiser for a Breast Cancer foundation.  It was something dealing with a run/walk fundraiser.  I responded to the e-mail with a statement saying the best way to "combat" breast cancer is to breastfeed.

Well, the next morning I received an e-mail from her saying not everyone agrees with my views about breastfeeding and she would prefer that I not respond to her e-mails with my personal opinions.  She ended it with "pretty please with sugar on top".

Of course, I sent her an e-mail letting her know when she sends the breast cancer run/walk support e-mail she was stating her opinion and providing her views about women's health.  Also, I told her breastfeeding is not an opinion!  Breastfeeding is how women are naturally suppose to feed their babies.  You don't walk around telling yourself you don't need to breathe on your own and prefer to use a respirator.  You breathe!  And when you tell someone you rather use your lungs the other person doesn't say that's your opinion.

Breastfeeding is meant for all babies.  Breastfeeding is meant for all moms.  All these other issues, frustrations, conditions get in the way of successful breastfeeding because we allow them to get in the way.  We don't have enough milk banks, enough lactation specialists, enough education nor enough money in this industry.  People go around making ignorant statements about lactation and many don't have any children or any education.  Even men seem to breast block the optimal form of infant nutrition by making uneducated statements.  We have politicians blocking important legislation supporting and protecting our mothers and children.  Why do we even need a lobbying committee?!  I'll tell you why.  It's because we have a country run by corporations which include drug companies that make formula and fill the pockets of politicians, doctors and hospitals.

There will come a time where we will look back on this era and laugh at ourselves.  We will put in history books how disconnected we were from our natural selves.  Our future generations will scratch their heads wondering why we thought putting a concoction of synthetic vitamins, preservatives, dyes and fillers were good to introduce to a tiny human's belly, stretching it to an unhealthy level.

Breastfeeding will become the norm again whether we like it or not because NATURE ALWAYS WINS.

Welcome to The Abiyamo Omo Society Blog!

Let's start off saying welcome to THE ABIYAMO OMO SOCIETY!

Vanessa and I are so excited to start blogging our work and perspectives on everything breastfeeding, childbirth and support of motherhood.  We have a plethora of opinions, facts and hands-on experience working in the maternal-child health sector.  We love it so much we decided to get degrees on the subject.  We are doing so much to assist the lactation and childbirth community in making changes.  So, here is our first blog to introduce Abiyamo Omo.

What is The Abiyamo Omo Society?
The Abiyamo Omo Society is a non-profit organization created to support mothers of color in breastfeeding, childbirth, child rearing, domestic needs, legislation and any other maternal resources needed.  It started off on the internet as a Ning web community and has now grow to an actual support group that meets monthly at University of Illinois-Chicago (UIC) and working on establishing another group on the far south side.

Although our focus is on Black and Brown mothers, we open our meetings to all races from all cultural backgrounds.  All mothers are welcome to come whether they are currently breastfeeding or not, have children of any age or are pregnant.  This organization is here to support moms.

We do our best to provide the proper education, resources and emotional support to the moms who attend our meetings.  Also, we are considering involving arts and crafts at our meetings, such as knitting and journaling.  Our meetings are mommy-led, meaning the meetings are open to mothers deciding what to discuss.  We do advocate for breastfeeding, natural childbirth and natural parenting (skin-to-skin, babywearing, etc.).

There is no fee required to join The Abiyamo Omo Society.  We welcome donations and at some point we will ask for an optional membership dues once the organization becomes a 501(c)3.

Please subscribe to our blog and enjoy our rants, knowledge and motherly silliness.  Again, welcome to our Society.