State of the Union: A 2011 Recap

This is the first year of Rebecca and me being in business for ourselves.  It has been an eye opening experience.  We have gone through so many different changes in the last 12 months which have taught me a lot about myself, business, and the lactation world.  This is my reflection.

When I get home my kids cling to me.  Sometimes I haven't been gone long but if I'm not home when they get home from school, to them, I’ve been gone all day.  I miss my kids too!  I miss them so much that I'm changing my schedule so I can be at home more often.  I think it's important for mothers to build a bond with their children early so they can have great relationships with their kids as they get older.  That's why I love breastfeeding because Moms are doing many things at one time, building a great lifelong bond, nourishing baby, building the immune system, protecting themselves from illnesses and that's only naming a few.

I thought I could balance career and home with no problem.  Boy, was I wrong.  I didn't realize how much my family depended on me.  I thought that my husband, who is a musician and is at home writing, would just slide right in to my role.  I was wrong again.  Men are completely different than women and I am learning how to work with my husband so we can both further our careers.  He is very supportive in my endeavors and sometimes he's the one approaching pregnant women in stores about breastfeeding.  He sees how important my work is and he is on the frontline right there with me.  He has really helped me be a better wife, mother, and person.  I really need to give him more sex... LOL!  I'm working on it, but sometimes after a long day of work, children, housework, and more work I don't have the energy to lift a finger, let alone have sex.  I am learning how to let go of some things so I have energy to do other things that are just as important or even more important.

Sometimes, you gotta do what cha gotta do!

When Rebecca and I started The Monolatry Group, we were so excited and we were ready to let everyone know, we are here!  Anything dealing with breastfeeding we were there.  We were showing our face at meetings all over the city and suburbs.  We were making our presence known on social media sites.  Then, we wrote a grant and we kind of knew we were not going to get it.  What we were proposing was new, innovative strategies and we were new on the lactation scene.  In 2011, the breastfeeding world changed. The media was talking about breastfeeding all the time and there was more money accessible for non-profits to promote.  Rebecca and I were even more excited to work with other established non-profits to work as a community to help women breastfeed.  That's what we thought but we were naive in thinking that everyone in the breastfeeding community is helping Moms to breastfeed, as well as to empower women.

This was the eye opening part of my year.  As I reflect on this subject, I realize how much I was hurt by women that I thought were advocates for women and breastfeeding.  I thought they were my friends and women I can trust.  I thought that they would be bluntly honest with me and tell me the truth.  But instead, I got shut doors, phone calls unanswered, and just a firm hand in my face saying, “No, you can't come in here.  You are too loud, you ask too many questions, and you are way too dynamic to be on our team.”  Well, I was upset for a little while but now I have my wits about me and I have put this in the past.  2012 is our year!  I'm claiming it.

With all of the adversity I have been though personally and professionally this year, I am glad that I have a great business partner, Rebecca.  She is honest, sometimes brutally, she has my back (like I have hers) and she is a great friend.  I have to thank the universe for placing her in my life.  We have learned a lot this year and we know now who are friends are and who we need to keep our eye on.  We've grown in the last year and in our growth we have been successful.

We have our mommy group, The Abiyamo Omo Society, which meets at 2 locations in Chicago hospitals, UIC Hospital and Jackson Park Hospital.  We are helping to start the volunteer Breastfeeding Peer Counselor program at UIC Hospital.  We are instructing our first PC Class in February 2012 and because of the great response we got we are planning 2 more classes in 2012 (check our website for details).  We started renting and selling Hygeia breast pumps that we call Pump Depot and delivery for free to Chicago's Southside and South Suburbs.  January 4, 2012 we’re starting our weekly talk show called “Milking It!” (on www.VOKLE.com) and you can catch us on Facebook ("Like" The Monolatry Group & TheAbiyamo Omo Society pages) as well as Twitter @abiyamoomo.

We have given a number of presentations at area hospitals and working on new connections everyday. With all that, we are working on 2 grants to help us sustain all the unpaid work we do.  We understand what it takes to be a successful and willing to stay up late and work when we have been up for hours.  We've had a great year and are very thankful to everyone who has accepted us (and not).  Last but not least, we wanted you to know we are here to stay!

Meditate On This!

Just curious, how would you, being a Lactavist, Lactation Consultant or breastfeeding advocate, approach this woman if she was talking to you?


"[Th]is sooo random today. Soooo, while doing pre-registration for Labor & Delivery, I changed my mind (again) about breast-feeding. I'm not gonna do it. The nurse looked at me like she was mad. I almost let the B-word fly...um, are you gonna have a baby hanging off YOUR booby, ma'am? Um, no. Gee to the whiz....that's cool...i also have 3 very active boys and all the stuff they do...they were all formula fed and havent really had major health issues. I agree it's probably better...there are just a lot of dynamics involved that made me choose what i feel is the right thing for my baby. Kudos to those that can & do breastfeed tho :)"

This is an actual quote, by the way, I got from the internet.  It is definitely something to meditate about and think about how you would respond.  Hmmm...

EDUCATION, EMPOWERMENT & ENLIGHTENMENT!

The Abiyamo Omo Society's First Breastfeeding Mother of the Month (December 2011)

The Abiyamo Omo Society is excited to introduce our first Breastfeeding Mother of the Month, Cydya Stevenson Thomas.  Each month we will highlight a Black or Brown Breastfeeding Mother who enjoyed her Breastfeeding experience and whose story needs to be shared.  This month we chose Cydya for her passion, advocacy and overall positive spirit.  She also just joined our team at The Monolatry Group.  She is our Marketing Director.  So, we honor her this month and applaud her.  Here is her interview...

Your Name: Cydya Stevenson Thomas

Your Profession: Sales Operations Manager

Your Child’s Name & Age: London Jada Thomas, 6 months old

How long are you breastfeeding?  I will breastfeed at least 1 year.

How did you know to breastfeed?  My mother breastfed all 3 of my brothers and me so, it wasn’t a thought to do it.  I just knew I needed to breastfeed.

Please explain to us your overall breastfeeding experience.  My overall experience has been wonderful. It is great for London and great for my health.  It keeps my metabolism up, reduces my risk of getting ovarian, uterine and breast cancer, keeps London healthy, keeps her immune system up, and it creates bond between us.

How are you inspired by your breastfeeding experience?  My breastfeeding experience inspires me to be a great mother/provider/caregiver for London.

Are there any obstacles you had to overcome during your breastfeeding experience?  I went to Aruba for 6 days for my honeymoon and I didn’t pump enough while I was gone.  My supply went down and I was afraid I was not going to be able to increase it.  I had to pump a lot even after I finished feeding her.  I also bought Fenugreek and Fennel supplements and Mothers Milk tea to aid in production.

What are some of the ways you inspire other mothers to breastfeed and get the word of encouragement out in the community?  I inspire other mothers to breastfeed by setting an example.  I tell other mothers the benefits of breastfeeding for the health of their babies, their health, and their pockets.  Breastmilk is free!  It is always on hand, you don’t have to worry about trying to mix a bottle or warm up anything.  It is very convenient.  I have recently joined The Monolatry Group, a company that supports, educates and aids breastfeeding mothers.

Cydya Stevenson Thomas is a military brat who spent most of her life in Central America, Asia, and Europe.  She currently resides in Kansas City, KS.  After graduating high school in Italy, she moved to Tallahassee, Florida to attend Florida A&M University.  She graduated in 2007 with a B.S. in Business Administration and remained in Florida until 2010.  Today, she works as a Sales Operations Manager at a Kansas City company and as Marketing Director for The Monolatry Group.  She recently married Jamaal Thomas who she met while attending FAMU and he fully supports her Breastfeeding their 6-month old daughter, London Jada, who is their pride and joy.  They are moving to a Chicago suburb this month.

ThanksTaking & Still Giving

Monday, Vanessa and I experienced a lot in one day.  Now, I would like to say we have been extremely blessed with the support and love we have been given from Hospitals such as UIC Medical Center and Jackson Park Hospital as well as some prominent figures in the lactation professional community.  Our company is expanding (we brought on 2 new people to our team) and we have been getting applications for our Peer Counselor class.

This past Monday we found out we were not awarded the grant we just knew we had in our pockets.  The explanation?  One the reasons is we aren't professional.  REALLY??!!

I know for a fact there are women out there who have said I am abrasive and harsh.  They say I need more training because of my approach.  My question to them is, have they seen me work with women?  NO!  They have never seen me work as a Lactation Specialist and have never seen me perform my Peer Counselor work. Another woman said, "I didn't know just anyone could teach a Peer Counselor Class."  REALLY??!! Just plain and simple hating.  Wow, I thought this was a bonding community.  I thought this was a community of women working together to empower women not bring them down.

We know who the external reviewers are for the grant proposal and we are ready to show them we are professional.  So, please take this as a tap on the shoulder, external reviewers.  We have our sleeves rolled up and ready to get to work without any apologies.  If you want to make this a challenge, go right ahead.  We are mobilizing as I type and entering the Lactation/Doula world by storm.  It's time to train you because, clearly, you are the ones who need the training.  You make assumptions not only about our work but about Mothers of Color in general.  You throw up numbers you cannot explain.  You speak about Black women as if they have a list of problems and you can solve them.  You cannot solve the problems of Mothers of Color. So, you see, who really needs more training??!!

Now, let's talk about real trained women doing real grassroots work.  Let's bow to these Sisters.

Vanessa and I would like to thank over and over again, The Chicago Area Breastfeeding Coalition for their unconditional support and guidance.  They are a group of women who not only empower but create the utopia of the lactation community.  We bow to you.  They are providing 2 scholarships to 2 women for our Breastfeeding Peer Counselor Class.  We would also like to thank Patrice Perez for being our dedicated advocate.  She is amazing beyond amazing.  Patrice, you are truly a Superwoman.  Patrice has been our voice when we have no representation.  Vanessa and I thank Charlotte Johnson who is a great guide for us. We wish you well in your retirement.  We also thank Michelle Shelton, Monica Palmer and Dhyia Thompson.  All of these women have added to our business in ways no one could imagine.  They are extremely talented women with dedication and cheer us on every step of the way.  We thank Hygeia for seeing something in us to trust us to promote and sell their products which in turn supports our company.  We thank Megan Renner for listening to us and believing in our mission.  A thank you goes out to Peg Dublin for her trailblazing work.  We honor her drive, her passion and her advice.  Thank you to Maria Galvan-Briseno and Katrina Pavlik.  These two women are extraordinary, working for the lactation cause even without pay.  Vanessa and I must thank Elita Kalma for her voice.  Her voice speaks for many Mothers of Color.  She educates, empowers and advocates for the women who are continually ignore all along putting a beautiful Black face to Breastfeeding and strong Black children to her breasts.  Thank you to all the encouraging, loving and positive women out there hugging and applauding our work and the work many other inspiring women.  Most importantly, we thank our husbands, children, parents and Samantha (Vanessa's loving sister).  We realize if it weren't for you we would not be were we are today enjoying our work and allow us to fuel our passion.

So, please take time this Thanksgiving to give genuine thanks to every one who has gotten you to this point in your life.  Even if they are not here physically to thank, thank them in some way through a prayer, moment of silence or a letter.  Focus only on people who uplift you and embrace you.  This is a new era, an era of higher consciousness.  Our intentions must be loving, inspiring and authentic.  Things are happening quickly so we have to move with our rapidly changing world.  If you are ready to join our Movement of Empowerment then we open our doors to you and love to work with you.  If you are not ready for the Movement then you will be left behind. It's that simple.

EMPOWERMENT, ENLIGHTENMENT! Peace & Joy! Happy Thanksgiving.

The Lactation Professional Community Needs to Do Better

Our work in the community with Black and Brown women has opened our eyes to many issues in the lactation profession.  These issues need to be address in order to successfully reach the goal of Every Mother, Every Child to receive optimal nutrition from breastmilk.  We are not revealing these issues with malintent but want to open a discussion so we can address, accept and resolve these issues so we (everyone in the lactation profession) can be more successful and do the work we love.

1. There are territorial fights that draw our attention away from helping mothers and babies.

We noticed organizations are putting other organizations on the "Do Not Hire/Do Not Do Business With Them" list.  There are organizations that are also firing highly effective and highly knowledgeable women because of egos and issues that can easily be worked out without lashing out in dramatic ways.  There is enough work for everyone.  If an organization/company has a problem with another organization/company then there needs to be a conversation between the two of them, not passive aggressive

2. Constant negativity when discussing change in lactation policies and procedures.

We've noticed there is so much negativity about change and reaching out to the larger medical community.  As Vanessa and I experience when we talk to doctors, they are very receptive.  Change is great 90% of the time.  The other 10% you accept it and still work on achieving your goals.  Embrace everyone who walks on your path.  If they are harming your path, believe me, the Universe will take care of them for you and move them out of the way.  We are now in a time if your intentions are not genuinely on the collective community and building enlightenment then your project will not work.

3.  Cliques are old.  Be inclusive not exclusive.

This is nothing new but to the lactation professional community for some reason there is a lot of holding on to the exclusive philosophy.  Fortunately, there are some highly experienced and seasoned lactation professionals who understand being inclusive benefits not only their work but the collective vision of the breastfeeding community.  We've noticed the women who are including new philosophies, new professionals and new paths are very successful and their work is making huge differences with many Mothers and Children.  To those women, and men, we salute you.

4.  Egos!

No one is trying to take your job.  You are good at what you do, if you are doing anything.  Please understand that.  Like I stated earlier, there is plenty of work for EVERYONE!  Don't be a hater (excuse the vernacular).  You look ugly and every notices you as such.  If you continue "hating" and "breast-blocking" there will come a time when you will notice you are by yourself.  While you are being nasty, excluding and spreading misinformation you are not working with Mothers and Children.  Eventually, everyone will pass you.

5.  No Microsoft mentality in the lactation professional community is necessary.

Stop thinking you are a big box in this business.  The large corporation mentality is fading.  There should be no domination in this business.  Get off of our toes.  We never entered your personal space.  Now, if you want to play this game, take notes, we can definitely play the game and be tougher than any diamond.  We shine brighter too.  Vanessa and I know business and emotions are like oil and water.  We are rolling up our sleeves right now.

So, we are not scared.  We are not going to fight you either.  We are here to work WITH everyone.  We are here to educate, support and empower Mothers so they can pass on the education, support and empowerment to their children.  That's our mission.  If you want to unite with us we are open to bonding.  If you want to hinder our process be ready to be amazed at how much we do NOT need you.  Eat our dust...and drink our milk.  Ooo, how sweet it is.

Breastfeeding Not Breast Cancer

The other day a distant cousin of mine sent me an e-mail on Facebook talking about a fundraiser for a Breast Cancer foundation.  It was something dealing with a run/walk fundraiser.  I responded to the e-mail with a statement saying the best way to "combat" breast cancer is to breastfeed.

Well, the next morning I received an e-mail from her saying not everyone agrees with my views about breastfeeding and she would prefer that I not respond to her e-mails with my personal opinions.  She ended it with "pretty please with sugar on top".

Of course, I sent her an e-mail letting her know when she sends the breast cancer run/walk support e-mail she was stating her opinion and providing her views about women's health.  Also, I told her breastfeeding is not an opinion!  Breastfeeding is how women are naturally suppose to feed their babies.  You don't walk around telling yourself you don't need to breathe on your own and prefer to use a respirator.  You breathe!  And when you tell someone you rather use your lungs the other person doesn't say that's your opinion.

Breastfeeding is meant for all babies.  Breastfeeding is meant for all moms.  All these other issues, frustrations, conditions get in the way of successful breastfeeding because we allow them to get in the way.  We don't have enough milk banks, enough lactation specialists, enough education nor enough money in this industry.  People go around making ignorant statements about lactation and many don't have any children or any education.  Even men seem to breast block the optimal form of infant nutrition by making uneducated statements.  We have politicians blocking important legislation supporting and protecting our mothers and children.  Why do we even need a lobbying committee?!  I'll tell you why.  It's because we have a country run by corporations which include drug companies that make formula and fill the pockets of politicians, doctors and hospitals.

There will come a time where we will look back on this era and laugh at ourselves.  We will put in history books how disconnected we were from our natural selves.  Our future generations will scratch their heads wondering why we thought putting a concoction of synthetic vitamins, preservatives, dyes and fillers were good to introduce to a tiny human's belly, stretching it to an unhealthy level.

Breastfeeding will become the norm again whether we like it or not because NATURE ALWAYS WINS.

Welcome to The Abiyamo Omo Society Blog!

Let's start off saying welcome to THE ABIYAMO OMO SOCIETY!

Vanessa and I are so excited to start blogging our work and perspectives on everything breastfeeding, childbirth and support of motherhood.  We have a plethora of opinions, facts and hands-on experience working in the maternal-child health sector.  We love it so much we decided to get degrees on the subject.  We are doing so much to assist the lactation and childbirth community in making changes.  So, here is our first blog to introduce Abiyamo Omo.

What is The Abiyamo Omo Society?
The Abiyamo Omo Society is a non-profit organization created to support mothers of color in breastfeeding, childbirth, child rearing, domestic needs, legislation and any other maternal resources needed.  It started off on the internet as a Ning web community and has now grow to an actual support group that meets monthly at University of Illinois-Chicago (UIC) and working on establishing another group on the far south side.

Although our focus is on Black and Brown mothers, we open our meetings to all races from all cultural backgrounds.  All mothers are welcome to come whether they are currently breastfeeding or not, have children of any age or are pregnant.  This organization is here to support moms.

We do our best to provide the proper education, resources and emotional support to the moms who attend our meetings.  Also, we are considering involving arts and crafts at our meetings, such as knitting and journaling.  Our meetings are mommy-led, meaning the meetings are open to mothers deciding what to discuss.  We do advocate for breastfeeding, natural childbirth and natural parenting (skin-to-skin, babywearing, etc.).

There is no fee required to join The Abiyamo Omo Society.  We welcome donations and at some point we will ask for an optional membership dues once the organization becomes a 501(c)3.

Please subscribe to our blog and enjoy our rants, knowledge and motherly silliness.  Again, welcome to our Society.